Redifining Yourself Through Motherhood Series: Part 1

I LOVED being pregnant and women hated me for it.  Mothers who LOVE being a Mom and are naturally "good" at it - or appear to be - I ENVIED.  

My pregnancy wasn't even as good as textbook - it was better.  I might have experienced 1% of the topics discussed in "What To Expect When You're Expecting" book by Heidi Murkoff and Sharon Mazel.  I reveled in the generosity and "out of their way" kindness expressed by the general public who would open doors and carry packages for me and let me skip ahead when I was waiting in any type of line - especially the bathroom.  While pregnant, I spent quite a bit of time daydreaming about what it would be like to become a stay at home Mom and not go back to work - I painted a beautiful picture!  And become a stay at home Mom is exactly what I did.  So begins my journey of redefining ME.

As soon as Brighton, our daughter, popped out the strangest feeling swept over me Do you remember that feeling? I cannot even describe to you in words what it felt like for a human that had been inside of me for 9 long months to be immediately placed on my chest while everyone in the room shouts "Congratulations" with tear filled eyes and mushy grins.  Was I supposed to cry, laugh, rejoice in song, start breastfeeding, feel overwhelmed by love or panic at the thought of taking her home?  Unlike what most women say, I wasn't graced by the presence of any kind warm, fuzzy feeling from the baby Gods up above.  I didn't know what I was supposed to do or how I was supposed to feel.  I admit that I wasn't madly in love in those first moments.

Luckily, Brighton arrived on a Friday and my husband was able to stay home through Monday.  Thankfully, my Mom was around for a few days cooking, cleaning and spending time with me. Less than a handful of friends came to visit and we were not overwhelmed with casseroles and kisses, actually, much to my dismay, it was my observation that people assumed as a new Mom that I would be recovering, want my space and would be too busy for visitors. Too busy? Are you kidding?  My delivery was easy, I was mildly tired, having space was depressing and my child slept all day, only waking for feedings which she practically slept through. 

Having a baby can actually turn into feelings of emptiness.  For 9 months we get used to caring for something that is on the inside and feeling those flicks and flutters becomes comforting.  I missed feeling Brighton's little hiccups.  Once the baby is here we immediately, in the blink of an eye, take on a brand new role while dealing with letting go of our previous, all consuming build-a-baby-role.  Building a baby and raising a baby - not similar.

Lesson Learned #1:  Embrace visitors, casseroles, phone calls, balloons and storks in the front yard.  As  a friend, don't alienate new mothers because you think they're too busy - the baby sleeps 18 hours a day!  Of course, this isn't the case with all women - there are exceptions.  Call first, but CALL!  It is important for women to be supported and lovingly surrounded during this transition.

Stay Tuned!  I invite you to stop by and become a reader of this series as it develops and morphs just like we as mothers develop and morph into thriving, successful women of abundance!

Megan